Kelsey Lewandowski (IG @kelseylewandowski) is a talented content creator and mama of two beautiful babies living in California. She talks to us about her breastfeeding journey, postpartum advice, and what she loves about being a mom.
Kelsey's Motherhood Experiences: Every Kid is Different
- How's your experience of being a mother?
I have two kids, a boy, and a girl. I just had my daughter, and my son is 2. I love being a mom, and I love to watch them learn and grow. It's different from a boy to a girl, but I love it. I also love the idea of them having siblings, and I think it's really fun.
- How was your first experience as a new mom?
My first experience wasn't during Covid, and it was back in 2019. I felt it was a lot different from this time. This time the doctor's appointments, the delivery - they were all so different. No baby showers, of course. On the contrary, my first experience was a typical pregnancy experience. I had a baby shower, anyone could go to my appointments and more. Of course, it was a different experience because of their gender, too.
- What about during the Covid pandemic? How was it like becoming a mother again during such hard times?
Back then, where I live, I could only have one person at my ultrasounds only. No people could come with me to my doctor's appointments, and I could only have one person with me during delivery. Even though I would probably still have had one person with me anyway. So the whole experience didn't bother me, but I'm glad I didn't have to do it all by myself. Other than that, I felt it was pretty much the same. I probably wouldn't have a baby shower anyway because I've had one before. The only real difference is that now I'm more conscious about going out with my kids because of the pandemic.
- It probably became even more of a private moment for you. You weren't surrounded by relatives and friends, but rather only by the person you care about the most.
Yeah, indeed. I think it would have been worse for me if it was my first child. I would have been more upset about having a different first experience as a mom, not organizing a baby shower, and stuff like that. However, considering that I've already done all of this before, it didn't bother me so much.
- Even though your experience becoming a mom for the second time during the pandemic was quite smooth, did you learn any new skills that you feel proud of?
I would say having no one else watch our kids - besides my husband, of course - was quite tough. That was one struggle I faced, as I didn't feel comfortable having anyone else watch them for fear that they could get sick. So doing everything on your own was the biggest challenge during the pandemic.
Kelsey's Ups and Downs: Learn What Your Baby Likes and What Is Easier for You.
- It's already difficult for moms to find time for self-care, even more during times like the recent pandemic. Do you have any tips that you would like to share on how to find time for yourself?
I would say take advantage of nap time and staying up after they go to bed so you can have some "adult time." Having a supportive spouse or partner is also very important to help you have enough time for yourself. Make sure to communicate with your partner, too. They are not going to know you need alone time if you don't tell them. To sum it all up, I would say that my biggest tip for new moms is to ask for help if they need it.
- So don't be shy to ask for help and think that you should handle it all by yourself, right?
Yeah, also consider that if you feel overwhelmed, you will not be the best mom for your kids because you're too stressed out. It's nice to take time for yourself. Your identity didn't go away just because you had kids.
- You mentioned that you love being a mom. Could you share some of the ups and downs of being a mom? What do you love the most about being a mom?
I love my kids, and I also love to breastfeed. It's crazy how you can love someone so much. I breastfed my first son for fifteen months and my daughter during the three weeks she has been alive. I love watching my kids learn and grow. It's so crazy how much they change every day and how smart they get. When it comes to the downs of being a mother, I'd say not having help and when your kids are having a bad day. When you're by yourself, it can be stressful to go through all of that. I would say there are more ups than downs. Of course, there are downs to everything, but it's so worth it when you love them so much.
- How was your first time breastfeeding?
My first experience with breastfeeding was so easy. However, this experience was different. I thought I knew what I was doing, but it turned out to be a different experience. I think that every baby is different, and you need to learn what your baby likes and what is easier for you. I'd say it was a lot harder this time, as she was a preemie and was born three weeks earlier. So maybe my experience being different also had something to do with this. Her latch wasn't that great, but I just kept trying. Eventually, I got it right later. So it was a very different experience with both of my kids.
- Indeed, one theme that we see in other moms' stories is that every time is different. As a new mom, you want to get prepared as much as possible. However, many times your experience will be completely unpredictable.
Yes, absolutely. Everyone is different, and so everything else - from pregnancies to deliveries - can be completely different. It's even crazy to think how different my situations were between my two kids. I would say plan as much as you can, and that's all you can do. Don't have high expectations because if you couldn't breastfeed, you don't want to put all that pressure on yourself and then be disappointed. I know it's hard not to have expectations, but you don't want to have them to the point where you're stressed out and feel guilty.
- What would be the piece of advice that you'd like to share with your past self?
I was nervous with my first son as I had never had a day spent with a baby 24/7. I would say that being a mom gets easier every day. It's such a natural thing that I didn't have to think too much about it. You get an instinct to care for them. I would say don't stress out and worry about everything. Don't set expectations because if you get let down, you don't want to blame yourself. Things happen, and you can't control everything.
Kelsey’s Tips: Prioritize What's Important for Me
- What about some of the unexpected challenges that you had to face when breastfeeding?
I didn't have issues breastfeeding, but my pregnancy was more something I had high expectations for. The pregnancy with my son was so easy, while this time, it was different. My daughter had some health concerns and the fact that my doctors had me induced early. I wasn't prepared for all of that, but then I realized that everything would be fine anyway. What's meant to be, it's meant to be. You can't control everything, and that's fine this way.
- So go along with it, and everything will be fine. Do you have any secret tips on how to organize your day and your breastfeeding schedule as a mother of two?
I would say to set your schedule, even though it's hard to schedule a newborn's day. With a strict schedule, I can make sure that I can get everything done, especially when taking care of my son. I need to make sure I'm pumping, nursing and taking care of my son. All of that is just a lot, so my advice is to keep a schedule as much as possible. If you then miss something, don't be hard on yourself. You already have a lot to deal with, so don't be too hard on yourself if you can.
- You mentioned that you were also pumping. How was your experience with pumping?
I pump three times a day. I make sure I get it done during nap time, bedtime, or right away when I wake up. That way, it's not interfering with my son's schedule, and I can get it done on my own time. So, again, there's another schedule I need to keep following.
- Have you ever tried one of the Momcozy products? How did you discover Momcozy?
That's a good idea. I used your pregnancy pillow, and I'm still using it now even though I'm not pregnant. I also have maternity joggers from Momcozy, and I like them. They're very comfortable even for being postpartum. After labor, it's better to wear something loose. During pregnancy, they were just as comfortable for me. The pregnancy pillow from Momcozy is just amazing. I don't know how I could have slept during my pregnancy without it. Now I'm using it for nursing my daughter, so it's so functional that I love it.
- Did you have to go back to work? Are you staying at home?
I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I do YouTube as my own thing. My channel is called "Kelsey Lewandowski," and I try to post new content once a week or twice a week, depending on how much time I have. I love it, and it's fun. It gives me a place to do something for myself.
- It's already hard to be a mom and even harder to work from home as a content creator. How do you strive for work-life balance when you only have 24 hours in a day? How do you define boundaries between your work and taking care of your children?
Yeah, it's hard. I try to prioritize what's important for me. For example, if a video is important to me, I'll ensure I get it done. My kids are always my number one priority, but I try to take advantage of my free time. For example, I'd try to shoot my videos when they're napping, during the weekends, or when my husband is home to help me. I'm also not too strict with my schedule. So if I miss a week, I'm not going to be hard on myself. I would say prioritizing and having a schedule are essential for me.
Kelsey's Views of Mom: Don’t Judge Other Moms While You Don’t Know About Their Experience
- Is there any issue that you'd like to advocate for concerning being a mom? Any stigma or misconception that you think shouldn't exist?
I would say there are two misconceptions about being a mom. The first one is related to bouncing back quickly to your pre-pregnancy body. You grew a human in your body for nine months, so your body will not look like it looked before. Your body did something amazing, so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't let other people judge how your body should look like. The second one is about shaming people who can't breastfeed and have to formula-feed. As long as your kids are eating, everything should be fine. Breastfeeding and pumping is a full-time job. If you miss a pumping session, your milk supply will go down. It's constantly a lot of work, and it's fine if some people don't want to breastfeed. I feel people are so quick to judge other people for these two stigmas, while you don't know anything about another person's experience.
- It almost seems like you can't do anything right, indeed. Besides these stigmas, is there any piece of information shared online that you feel is a misconception?
I would say "co-sleeping," as this is a topic many disagree with. It may be controversial, but I co-slept my son throughout his whole life. I decided I didn't want to do that this time, as it's hard to get them out of bed. People are quick to judge others on this, but you should focus on doing what's best for you and your baby. If it works for you, that's fine. In the end, it's your life, your baby, and your choice.
- Have you ever breastfed in public? This is a common issue for moms. During the Breastfeeding Awareness Month, many campaigns and events revolve around normalizing breastfeeding, especially breastfeeding in public.
I have breastfed in public before. For my personal preference, I've always covered myself in public. There's nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public; I don't simply feel comfortable showing my breasts. However, if my baby is hungry, I'm going to feed them anyway. I'm not going to hide in the car or go to the bathroom.
- Do you have any other tips that you would like to share with a new mom based on your experience? Do you have any favorite mantra that guided you in your journey as a new mom?
I would say "go with the flow," as it's all you really can do. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, especially if things will not work out the way you thought they would. Learn day by day, as things change so quickly. Your schedule can change; you may not be able to produce that much and more. Besides, don't be shy to ask for help. People around you are there to help you, so reach out to your spouse, relatives, and friends. It's also nice to have a break sometimes.
- Absolutely, especially considering that many moms feel they should be handling everything by themselves. And if they don't, they feel they're failing at being a good mom.
Thank you, Kelsey, for sharing your story, message, and tips with the Momcozy Community!
Don't forget to check out and subscribe to her YouTube channel for more amazing vlogs and tips from Kelsey!