If you asked me when I was feeling my most powerful self in my 20’s, it would have taken me a very long time to answer. Back then it was easy to let other people’s voices get to me, make me doubt and feel small. As I am getting older and have lived through different experiences, I look back and can answer this question deeply and say that my power has taken different shapes throughout the years.
Infinite power in paving a unique path
One of the risks that changed the course of my life was my move to London in 2016. I moved to London to pursue a career as an actress. It felt risky as I was not fluent in English and did not know anyone in the industry. Looking back, I know that throughout the challenges my power was strengthening, and I had a deep trust that the risk I took would pay off. It took a while to book a role. I had moments where I thought I had to be a certain way to book jobs, or do things like other people, do it in the same order, go to the same classes etc. Thinking that I had to mold myself and the way of doing things was what made me lose my power, and slowly my motivation and belief. The deep feeling of dissatisfaction was the alarm bell telling me to redirect my energy. I understood that I had to do things my way and how I preferred to do them, honoring and respecting my uniqueness.
In 2019, I trusted my gut and enrolled in a life coaching training and signed up to a Yoga retreat in Laos. I discovered that by following what my instinct told me to do I was reconnecting with my power. It is easy to get lost in the hustle and forget what we bring to the table, following that little voice sometimes is all we need to find ourselves again. While I reconnected with that infinite power in Laos, I received a message from my agent telling me that I booked a role I auditioned for two months before. Fast forward four years after that call (a pandemic delaying everything), I was walking the red carpet at the London premiere of the movie. This event was even more special than what I imagined as I was walking the carpet being three months pregnant. I felt powerful and proud of what I achieved and what was to come.
Infinite power in juggling motherhood and auditions
After giving birth in October 2023, I started to get audition tapes again for new projects. My first thought was “How am I going to manage?”. I was still in the newborn fog, not sure if my brain could learn a script and organize everything to record an audition while looking after my baby. I, luckily, had help from my mum at that time, and we made sure to plan it the best way possible as we were in the midst of cluster feedings so I had very little time to do everything. I realized how much quicker and more efficient I could be when I had no choice. Sometimes, what seems like limits or obstacles turn into structure: we are forced to become even more efficient. Before, I would often overthink, doubt and spend hours and hours being frustrated with what I have done for an audition tape. Now, I don’t. I learn the script, work on the character, and record. I do my best with the time I have, and I do not overthink and just do it!
As a cozy mum, I can’t wait to see what I can accomplish even though sometimes it feels like there is not enough time in a day. I am looking forward to uncovering my cozy power more and more as a mum, an actress, and a woman.
Infinite power through hobbies
I always thought my power was solely in my career. During the pandemic I discovered that I could find it in other places too. I reconnected with a passion of mine: painting. Painting gave me power during a time when it was easy to feel powerless. I started to paint just for the love of it, and to pass the time. I am grateful for this reconnection because it is now a medium that I use to express feelings I do not know how to share otherwise. I realized that doing something just for the love of it gives us power. In a time where everything is trying to be monetised, it is freeing and empowering to do something just for ourselves, for the love and joy it gives us. I kept doing it and it was like I opened a window for inspiration to come. End of 2021, I started a painting series called “Inner Lives”: This series is inspired by people I know or I crossed paths with. Each painting is the “muse” seen from the back and around/in front of them is how I see their aura, their inner world.
Indulging in this hobby without wondering if it is good or not and sharing the process have given me power. When I put paint on my canvas, I dive deep into my imagination and soul. “Weird” emotions and strange feelings transform into beauty and art: it is truly like a magical power.
Believe in your infinite power
I feel most powerful when I remind myself that all those facets exist and coexist within me, none of them disappear when I lean more into one for some time. I am not letting the pressure of being everything all the time get to me. Embrace each facet of yourself, give time to each season of your life and give yourself grace: as a woman you have and always will have infinite power no matter who you are, no matter what you do.
