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Facing the Emotional Reality of Returning to Work
Returning to work is emotionally and physically challenging; acknowledging your feelings is the first step.
Experts say babies’ separation anxiety peaks around 10-18 months, but a working mom’s separation anxiety can peak just knowing she has to return to her job. Before jumping into an academic article on a successful transition back to work, we want to pause and acknowledge the real struggle and inner conflict you might be facing. The transition is draining emotionally, physically, and logistically. You have a bond with your newborn that you only read about prior to giving birth. You and your baby are referred to as a “dyad” meaning together you are one entity. How does one separate from herself?
Protect your mental health. Sit with your thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge your situation and be kind in your evaluation. You are not alone. Statistically, 80% of women who worked during pregnancy return to work. Unfortunately, the United States does not have a federal law mandating paid maternity leave. People don’t realize how unparalleled that is. The US is the only developed country with this distinction. It is probably too late and impractical to suggest packing your bags and heading to a more postpartum friendly country, so let’s do the best we can with what we have.
Starting Your Pumping Routine Before Work
Establish a pumping schedule in advance to maintain milk supply and gain peace of mind.
Time to get into some practical tips to ease the obligation you are facing. Every situation will be unique and some of the options will be available to you and others will not. This is where you come up with the best plan for your situation.
Begin a pumping schedule at least 2 weeks before returning to work. Ideally, this is after the baby turns 6 weeks old since that is when your milk supply should be regulated. Earlier pumping may result in oversupply. Pumping daily will communicate with your body to produce an extra feeding. You might not need as much as you collect, but the peace of mind is invaluable.
Collecting and Storing Milk Safely
Proper collection and storage ensure your baby receives fresh, safe milk while you are away.
If you only feed on one breast each nursing session, simply pump on the opposite side one feeding daily and store that milk. Consider pumping early in the morning when your milk supply is highest.
If the baby usually takes both breasts at each feed, pump for 15-20 minutes following the breastfeeding session and store the milk for later. The goal is to have 2-3 days’ worth of breastmilk (60-90 ounces) stored by the time you return to work, although this quantity is not required. Do not be intimidated or influenced by the social media posts displaying freezers full of breastmilk. In fact, when you do return to work, the milk you pump on Monday can be left for your baby on Tuesday. Your goal is to feed the baby, not the freezer.
Adjusting Your Work Schedule to Support Breastfeeding
Small work schedule adjustments can make the transition smoother and support milk supply.
If it is possible to shorten your work week or your workday, consider adjusting your schedule. If your company offers remote work, take advantage of working from home as many days as possible.
If you do have to return to fulltime work and your week runs from Monday to Friday, request a back-to-work start date on a Thursday for your first day back on the job. This will allow for a “practice run” and give you the opportunity to regroup over the weekend. It is not a bad idea to visit work unofficially prior to going back as an employee. This will give you a chance to see your pumping space (required by law) and discuss scheduling breaks with your employer. You should aim to pump about every 3 hours while away from your baby and ideally, try to match the times you would usually be feeding.
Creative Strategies for Maintaining Connection and Milk Supply
Think outside of the box to stay connected and maintain supply while away from your baby. Can a caregiver bring your baby to your place of employment during pumping breaks or lunch for direct feeding? Maybe you can locate a daycare close to your work site, so you are not separated longer due to travel time. Allow yourself time to breastfeed at the place where your baby will be cared for (either during drop off or pick up). Exposing yourself to the environment will allow your breastmilk to create antibodies for any viruses lurking in the air. Communicate to the caregiver not to feed your baby a bottle if your arrival is imminent. If you have a long commute, consider adding a hands free, wearable pumping session while you drive to your destination.
Remember to store milk in quantities your baby will most likely consume. If your baby is over one month old, he is most likely consuming 2-4 ounces each time he nurses. Label and store your pumped milk safely.
Most importantly, give yourself and your baby grace. This is a big transition for your entire family. Some babies will want to cluster feed when they are back in your arms. Enjoy the extra cuddles and time together.
